BRIGHT TALK: What would the inventor of calculus have to say to the author of general relativity...in a tweet?
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The Best Science Writing Online 2012
Showcasing more than fifty of the most provocative, original, and significant online essays from 2011, The Best Science Writing Online 2012 will change the way...
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Have you joined the Twitterverse? All over the world millions of people are posting their 140-or-fewer-character tweets online via Twitter. As a confirmed Twitterer, I wondered what it might have been like if Twitter, and all its users, had been around for, oh, the past few thousand years.
PythyinGreece Had amazing insight into right triangles. Add squares of sides = square of hypo. Could be useful.
Euclidmenot Working on something (book series called Elements) to drive 10th graders nuts 4 thousands of years. Conic section alone will make them cry.
Aristophanesridiculous @Euclidmenot Conic section? I thought you said COMIC section. HaHA, I still got it! Hey, frogs are funny, yes?
Arkymeets Note to self: take more baths. Do some of my best thinking in the tub.
Galiheyo You know what moves when they show you the torture instruments? Your colon. I’m gonna be ixnay on the eetstway for an ilewhay.
Libnits Made way to figure out area under a curve by dividing into smaller and smaller sections until width of each disappears, call it calculus.
AppleNewt @Libnits You made that up? You couldn’t make up a bedtime story for a 2-yr-old. Making a kid, BTW, sounds disgusting.
Libnits @AppleNewt Keep sitting under trees, maybe something big will fall on you next time.
AppleNewt @Libnits Apple falls near you, best idea you have is “Ooh, let’s make applesauce.”
HairyAlbert @AppleNewt Pick on somebody your own size. Btw, your gravity’s wrong. Just a teeny bit most of the time, but hey. @Euclidmenot You too.
Euclidmenot @HairyAlbert Prove it.
OzAScarecrow @PythyinGreece The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is = to the square root of the remaining side!
Mendelayoff @Euclidmenot Calling my thing Periodic Table of the Elements. Different elements from yours. OK?
Euclidmenot @Mendelayoff We’re like two lines that go next to each other for infinity but don’t ever touch.
PythyinGreece @OzAScarecrow So very wrong, but congrats on the degree. At least you’re failing upward.
AppleNewt @PythyinGreece You can’t fall upward.
HairyAlbert @Euclidmenot Two lines that never touch? Those lines are gonna touch, trust me.
ChuckinDown Worms and barnacles again today. I don’t feel so good.
PythyinGreece @AppleNewt I said he was FAILing upward, not falling upward. You’re doing too much alchemy, get fresh air.
HairyAlbert @Mendelayoff I’ll take number 99 on your table.
AlfieWallace @ChuckinDown Are you eating the worms and barnacles? Hey, did you get the package I sent?
ChuckinDown @AlfieWallace Yes, got package. Adding to my tummy troubles. We need to talk.
Curieous Went through thousands of pounds of pitchblende to get a speck of radium. I hate pitchblende.
InAHuff It snowed in DC, which proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is no global warming. I rest my case.
Beefranklin @InAHuff I risked my life in electrical storms for guys like you?
Bigstick99 @HairyAlbert Hey, I’m also number 99. There’s a lot of interesting physics in ice hockey.
InAHuff @Bigstick99 But the hockey stick is broken!
Beefranklin @InAHuff Seriously, you’re embarrassing us.
HairyAlbert @Bigstick99 I prefer elevator races.
SJGould I’m supposed to say something in 140 characters? That’s ludicrous. It’s absurd. It’s beyond ridiculous. In fact, it’s impossible. What idio
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20 Comments
Add CommentJimAlEwing @HairyAlbert E's McTwo
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisJimAlEwing @HairyAlbert E's McTwo
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisGreat piece! I also appreciated your reference to the Odd Couple episode in which Felix and Oscar were on the Password game show (Aristophanes=Ridiculous)
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisYeah, nice one. But you're missing an important fact. 99.999% percent of tweets are completely irrelevant to human history, and 99.9% of tweeters are people who just don't matter. Most real scientists don't tweet on their findings like that. I know you know that, but I just don't like Tweeter being given an importance it clearly doesn't have and will never have.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisOne of your finest pieces. You could put in something like the following.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisPlancksalot @ hairy albert: did you get my packet (In reference to the fundamental notion of quantum of energy Max Planck came up with in 1900).
But it still is the most elegant burlesque of Twitter.
LikeAShroed @ Plancksalot: Have you seen my cat?
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to this@weltschmerz
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisYou're missing an important fact: 99.9% of Human History is irrelevant to human history.
Twitter is just a tool, don't disparage just because you don't see any use for it. So what? Don't use it.
Great article...but a real pain to view on the Droid. The pop-over subscription ad really gets in the way and isn't easy to close.
Fun article. Loved the Gretzky reference.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisFun article. Loved the Gretzky reference.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisBrilliant - you're the Master of the Universe for laugh out loud comedy that manages to by-pass all gastric bodily functions, and make its way to the neuro-circuitry.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisI don't know which made me smile more: the article, or my embarrassment at spending *far* too long working out who OzAScarecrow is... I'm just glad I didn't try to prove his "theorem".
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thishairy albert@ likeashroed: It is very fuzzy, much like my hair. I'm off to be the head of Israel. Aaaah, Nazi's!
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to this@galaxy_man: you could call him 'likeashroedingstone'.
Very similar thing here: http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comicid=1198
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisI wrote this a couple of months ago on the same theme http://thirdopinion.nu/2010/01/twitter-philosophy/
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to this/P.O.
Brilliant. Loved the "let's make applesauce" line. And wow, there's SJGould too. :)
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisI'm confused which Plancksalot one I like more. @quantumgravity666 @galaxy_man :P
Love it. A shot the Huffington Post, too. "seriously, you're embarrassing us." hahaha
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to this"People who just don't matter"?
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisWow. Is there still room in your fan club? Oh, I'll bet you have SO many friends already.
I wish I could be like you, so I could do the right thing and kill myself.
99.9% of tweeters are people that don't matter?? I'm not a tweeter . . . do you have a rate of importance on non tweeters?
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to this@Weltschmerz
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisDon't you know that 99.999% of statistics are erroneous?
@Weltschmerz
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisDon't you know that 99.999% of statistics are erroneous?