Cover Image: February 2008 Scientific American Magazine See Inside

Affairs of the Lips: Why We Kiss [Preview]

Researchers are revealing hidden complexities behind the simple act of kissing, which relays powerful messages to your brain, body and partner














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If pheromones do play a role in human courtship and procreation, then kissing would be an extremely effective way to pass them from one person to another. The behavior may have evolved because it helps humans find a suitable mate—making love, or at least attraction, quite literally blind.

We might also have inherited the intimate kiss from our primate ancestors. Bonobos, which are genetically very similar to us (although we are not their direct descendants), are a particularly passionate bunch, for example. Emory University primatologist Frans B. M. de Waal recalls a zookeeper who accepted what he thought would be a friendly kiss from one of the bonobos, until he felt the ape’s tongue in his mouth!


This article was originally published with the title Affairs of the Lips.



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  1. 1. jemjem 06:30 AM 1/31/08

    hm.

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  2. 2. dpope2 03:29 PM 1/31/08

    It seems kissing proponents assume that nonkissers are somehow less successful lovers. However, if the number of offspring is a measure of sexual success, then nonkissers may outperform kissers.

    Even in kissing societies there are people who dislike the practice. Why are there no studies of how many people avoid kissing? The number could be large enough to significantly increase the estimate that 10 percent of the world's population do not engage in romantic kissing.

    After all, the present emphasis on romantic kissing is almost entirely due to the movie industry, which in its early phases could only show kissing and not the later stages of sexual intimacy.

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  3. 3. casuallovely 01:51 AM 2/1/08

    A kiss is one of the most intimate and sensuous things you can experience with another person.
    More: http://www.ehow.com/how_2193482_kiss-someone-passionately.html

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  4. 4. BobNSF 10:14 PM 2/2/08

    Not to put a damper on the importance of lip-locking, but the hypersensitivity of the lips is probably more related to the needs of our mammalian ancestors who used their mouths for a lot more than kissing and eating. Things like picking things up, grooming, fighting, etc. Things dogs and bears do, for instance.

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  5. 5. kate40 02:07 AM 2/5/08

    To the person who last commented on "Safe Sex."
    Kissing is a form of endearment. Coming from me as a 16 year old girl, kissing doesn't lead to sex, growing up in an environment that promotes sex, will lead to sex. You share your germs if you touch a door handle, or if you use a public restroom. Your statement was totally irrelevant and should find some new sources for your information.

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  6. 6. messenger4messiah2 12:29 PM 2/5/08

    I think all this convulated hype as to where kissing came from is over hyped and wishful thinking, and nonsense. Most likely it's because kissing ie sucking milk is the first expression and experience of selfless love and trust - period. Kissing came from sucking milk, because kissing represents first love experience.

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  7. 7. Lepakkomies 04:53 PM 2/5/08

    Very interesting ethnographical notes from Finland! Nothing much has changed since 19th century. Nowadays, romantic or sexual related kissing is very common among all Finns. But, according to my own experience, fathers (in generally) don’t kiss their offspring. Most of the mothers kiss only their own infants. Kissing also diminishes dramatically when children grow up, starting at age 1 or even earlier. We don’t kiss each other in any other circumstances, not even the ritualized cheek to cheek thing. We don’t kiss our parents, friends, grandparents, and vice versa. Puppy dogs may get a few kisses. Kissing habits are slowly changing, though.

    In old Finnish films, romantic kissing is still absent, but the influence from Hollywood can be clearly seen. The hero grabs the girl in his arms, bend him a bit, look deeply in her eyes, and just before their lips get in contact, they turn their heads toward the cameraman!

    In winter time, kissing isn’t always fun. You probably get a painful electrical sting when the lips touch each other and static energy discharges. That’s why the Inuit people do their nose greeting instead of kissing, I think.

    There was also a mention that Finns traditionally have no problem to bath (go sauna) together. That’s true. Those conventions have disappeared to some extent, but nudity isn’t taboo at all. Only some young, maturing girls and some women want to bath only with their sex. Some families still baths together.

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  8. 8. reinpost 12:11 PM 2/6/08

    "Their findings suggest that some 650 million members of the human species have not mastered the art of osculation, the scientific term for kissing; that is more than the population of any nation on earth except for China and India."

    Rather, these 650 million people find kissing unsanitary, childish and offensive; something only practiced between adults and their own baby children. Comparable to drinking milk.

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  9. 9. Richie C. 07:46 PM 2/6/08

    "Addictive drugs such as cocaine similarly stimulate these reward centers, through the release of the neurotransmitter dopamine. Love, it seems, is a kind of drug for us humans." Nothing we haven't known for quite a while: Stanton Peele, Ph. D., J.D, "Love and Addiction," 1975. And also, is it my imagination, or is kissing becoming more common, and "everybody" seems to be claiming to love "everybody."

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  10. 10. bootermoon 02:02 AM 2/7/08

    "Even in kissing societies there are people who dislike the practice. Why are there no studies of how many people avoid kissing? The number could be large enough to significantly increase the estimate that 10 percent of the world's population do not engage in romantic kissing. "

    I think this would be a very interesting study. I feel our society thinks everyone enjoys kissing, just with comparison to our media alone. Most movies have a love story, whether it be the guy getting the girl in the end, or that 12 getting their first kiss.

    I dated a guy once who actually disliked, which was odd to me. I just assumed he wasn't that into me, which actually was a big factor in us ending our relationship. Not on bad terms, we just didn't feel connected. But it does make sense now that people may not infact like kissing.

    I think studying it would be a great counter part to this story, show how much more in details other societies show affection.

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  11. 11. Mrs.Ghosh 05:48 PM 2/7/08

    Yes. I defenitely need to agree with the promising first kiss which brings you very close to the person..Its a way of expressing our commitment to each other.

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  12. 12. LaTreva Kittrell 02:16 PM 2/8/08

    I agree that the first kiss is very important to the sucess of a relationship but should not be rushed into because of germs. To me the first kiss lets you know if you and that special person will make good "music together" if he can't get the kiss right what is the point.

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  13. 13. kmac99999 11:29 PM 2/10/08

    Hmmm

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  14. 14. Estaven 02:21 AM 2/13/08

    All I know is the best kisser I ever met was a lady by the name of Carina. Everyone since has been a pale imitation.

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  15. 15. thantastik 03:12 AM 2/13/08

    kissing is a great example of non-verbal communication. A kiss has almost innumerable personality types. Multiply the # of types of kisses by the # of contexts in which they can take place and you have the total # of kiss types. There are as many ways to communicat3e with a kiss as there are with words. The intimacy level is so heightened with a kiss that types of communication exist that are outside the realm of spoken language.. A way of communicating the subtleties of desire with a clarity not found in words.

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  16. 16. LoveJots 10:36 PM 2/14/08

    Poems and dreams have been covered on this topic. Now in Sci. news! Such a mindful and physical language is the kiss - fascinating! Thanks

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  17. 17. AtheistTruth 01:20 PM 2/20/08

    messenger4messiah2 you should check your facts before you just offhandedly 'believe' something.
    I cannot be the only person who was not breast-fed that enjoys kissing. Reeally enjoys it, mmmkay?

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  18. 18. AtheistTruth 01:31 PM 2/20/08

    "80 percent of mothers, whether right-handed or left-handed, cradle their infants on their left side... 77 percent of 240 undergraduate students leaned right when kissing a doll on the cheek or lips.." ,but if an infant is cradled on the left, wouldn't a mother/father/undergrad have to lean to the left to kiss them? And if leaning to the right implies trust and security what does leaning left imply? (political puns aside)

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  19. 19. gs_chandy 04:19 PM 2/20/08

    One of the most memorable titles of any book I've seen:[i][b] "I Should Have Kissed Her More"[/b][/i]. A long-ago book by Alexander King. A wonderful read, indeed, by someone who married (and presumably kissed as well) a great deal.

    --- GSC

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  20. 20. Elizabeth Pisani 05:26 PM 2/22/08

    We kiss because we used to chew the cud on behalf of our young, huh? Don't think too hard, then, about the relationship between chewing, kissing and HIV.

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  21. 21. traveler 10:32 PM 2/26/08

    Athiest and Messiah need to kiss and make up. COEXIST

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  22. 22. Go Yoshida 12:02 PM 3/5/08

    According to this article, 5 cranial nerves are involved in kissing behaviour, but I think 7 are involved as follows; ` a d f h i ia.
    Of 7 nerves, cranial nerve ` plays the most important role. Olfactory stimuli are detected by specialized chemoreceptors on bipolar primary sensory neurons in the olfactory epithelium of the upper nasal cavities. On kissing, this kind of receptors is depolarized by sodium and potassium ion movements in and out of the cells.
    Also important are cranial nerve f and h due to their neural networks to make sublingual gland, parotid glands and submandibular gland produce saliva. One of the significance of resting saliva is to express the person's smell.
    Via saliva, the couple recognize each other and communicate more deeply after kissing.

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  23. 23. bteam42 09:15 PM 3/5/08

    Males are simply easier to please in general...we get turned on by just looking at lips, let alone kissing them. I also wonder if doing the European two-cheek kiss upon meeting creates a stronger bond among friends and/or acquaintences?

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  24. 24. Dr B Ravinder Reddy 01:21 PM 3/6/08

    A wonderful article, which I feel should be labelled as " Mysterious Pleasures of the Lips" rather than "Affairs of the Lips"!
    Many things in life are a complete mystery, and not surprisingly, is 'kissing'! I agree with the author that despite all the observations, a kiss continues to resist complete scientific dissection! So also many of our other traits!

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  25. 25. kamiya 11:20 AM 3/20/08

    very very effective article.

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  26. 26. joerocker 01:17 PM 3/21/08

    "if he can't get the kiss right what is the point."

    And you women call us men shallow...

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  27. 27. dancova 08:53 PM 7/18/08

    Any thoughts about the phenomenon of hearing bells when one kisses? This is common in literature/folklore and it must have some neurological basis, but I'm having trouble tracking it down. thanks.

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  28. 28. dancova 08:54 PM 7/18/08

    Any thoughts on the phenomenon of "hearing bells" when one kisses? Since it's common in folklore and literature there must be some basis for it (neurological?) but I'm having trouble tracking it down. Thanks.

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  29. 29. loreelaw 04:02 PM 2/25/09

    This is probably one of the most interesting studies I just so happened to stumble upon. I recently had an awful kissing experience and felt the unmistakeable urge to end whatever we could have started, or vomit. This is the second time this has happened to me. I felt guilty, like I was being shallow. I'm glad to know that there's more to it than that . I was attracted to them, not head over heels, but attracted just the same...but after that kiss yuck!

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  30. 30. loreelaw 04:03 PM 2/25/09

    This is probably one of the most interesting studies I just so happened to stumble upon. I recently had an awful kissing experience and felt the unmistakeable urge to end whatever we could have started, or vomit. This is the second time this has happened to me. I felt guilty, like I was being shallow. I'm glad to know that there's more to it than that . I was attracted to them, not head over heels, but attracted just the same...but after that kiss yuck!

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  31. 31. McDuff 03:21 PM 6/3/09

    Why is the author quoting people from interviews the BBC has done? Can't he be bothered to phone people himself? Lazy journalism.

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  32. 32. Dr Michelle Mars 05:49 AM 8/16/09

    Remember how exciting a kiss was when you were a teenager discovering sex? Or that, youre so lovely, I want to kiss you feeling you felt with a new partner. Or even the last time you watched two people kissing in a movie. Slow down and really think about that kiss. The feel of the lips, the taste of the tongue. Is your mouth watering yet? Mine is as I write. this.

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  33. 33. Dr Michelle Mars 05:51 AM 8/16/09

    Remember how exciting a kiss was when you were a teenager discovering sex? Or that, ‘you’re so lovely, I want to kiss you’ feeling you felt with a new partner. Or even the last time you watched two people kissing in a movie. Slow down and really think about that kiss. The feel of the lips, the taste of the tongue. Is your mouth watering yet? Mine is as I write this.
    http://sex.scoop.co.nz/2009/08/03/it-started-with-a-kiss/

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  34. 34. michaellongbeach 07:58 PM 10/16/09

    This posting assumes humans evolved slowly over time. Give credit to God for creating the lips as intricately - just like God created the eye, ear, and nose... and the rest of the human body.

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  35. 35. ClentClark 12:11 PM 11/13/09

    the scent of your true love is better then being able to smell when a girl is on her period....

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  36. 36. ClentClark 12:13 PM 11/13/09

    I don't believe that smeling a girl on her period is going to get me hard in the pants....

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  37. 37. Dr Michelle Mars in reply to loreelaw 03:14 PM 11/13/09

    I hope it made you feel better to know that it was just you being sensitive and your body giving you good cues. http://sex.scoop.co.nz/2009/08/03/it-started-with-a-kiss/

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  38. 38. Deepti 11:15 AM 11/21/09

    kissing
    the most interesting to[ic in the world of sexiness and fashion

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  39. 39. anuradha228 04:10 PM 9/3/10

    i think the kiss is the best thing to express love in physically between a boy and a girl.

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  40. 40. anuradha228 04:14 PM 9/3/10

    i think the lip kiss is the best thing to express the love between a boy and a girl.

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  41. 41. fitnezriot in reply to anuradha228 06:26 AM 3/26/11

    I totally agree with you! :D

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  42. 42. Ross Nicholson 02:40 PM 2/4/12

    Kissing passes pheromones essential for normal heterosexual juvenile and adult behavior. The skin surface lipids transferred in kissing keep us from crime, delinquency, running away, various perversions (including homosexuality), and heroin and cocaine addictions, provided it is of adequate quantity and provided without sexual stimulation. We can therefore use the pheromone to treat sociopathy, such as divorce and alienation, addiction, perversion, and running away. Nicholson Science has obtained enough of the pheromone to begin wholesale treatment of heroin addiction, perversions like pedophilia, runaway behavior, and the seeking of criminal thrills.

    A broad-spectrum  medical treatment for thrill-seeking (crime, drug addiction, unwanted perversions) now exists: a human pheromone, the healthy adult male facial skin surface lipid 'kissing daddy's face' pheromone.  Perhaps due to differing metabolic/neuronal pathways, alcoholism is unaffected by pheromone treatment.  One dose of 150-250 mg provides permanent relief of even the most obdurate cases.  
    See:

    http://tinyurl.com/4ys8aks

    Nicholson, B. 1984;  Does kissing aid human bonding by semiochemical  addiction?   British Journal  of  Dermatology  111(5):623-627.


    Nicholson, B. 2011: Exocrinology The Science of Love 2nd Edition Human Pheromones in Criminology, Psychiatry, and Medicine.
    http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0051AN5XI

    BBC-TV interview
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QeD6JtqbSbY
    typical anecdote
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YVJbRaCVj20

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