Romantic relationships can begin anywhere. When Cupid's arrow strikes, you might be at church or at school, playing chess or softball, flirting with a friend of a friend at a party or minding your own business on the train. Sometimes, however, Cupid goes on vacation, or takes a long nap, or kicks back for a marathon of Lifetime original movies. Instead of waiting for the capricious arrow slinger to get back to work, people are increasingly joining online-dating sites to assert some control over their romantic lives.

For millennia cultures have invented practices to fulfill the evolutionary imperatives of mating and reproduction. In the Western world today, individuals are largely expected to identify romantic partners on their own, a process that can consume significant time, effort and emotional energy. The ability to hunt for dates online offers singles a modicum of control over a seemingly random process and grants them access to hundreds, potentially thousands, of eligible mates.

This article was originally published with the title Dating in a Digital World.

10 Comments

1. 1. Rabe 02:31 PM 8/2/12

   To be successfull in online dating you have to write down "evolutionary mating imperatives" into a decision making feature list. Because it is just a list of advantages you can cheat (as the dba) unless speedatings are quickly organized. The right business model should include real events therefore it becomes informed dating not cheat mating.

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2. 2. Rabe 02:46 PM 8/2/12

   As the article says there are traditional practices for mating. Online dating should be mixed with social networks to maximize the trust in your virtual mate. Today dating sites are design for one to one exclusive contact, you cannot mate with the contact of your contact as you do in real life and in social networks. In real life there are always go-between and their absence in dating site is a nolife bias.

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3. 3. Bryllars 02:56 PM 8/2/12

   Why not as an inclusive survey mention the FREE dating services - otherwise people will be driven to inflate the membership of paid services?
   MatchDoctor but not Match etc.
   Do some research on this. And so serve the public which
   has little available information.
   USE FREE SERVICES. Don't let them charge you for what the internet is set up to do at nominal expense.

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4. 4. Rabe 03:05 PM 8/2/12

   There are always go-between, by situation or by someone. She can be in the same classroom or next door or the same ethny. She have to meet your parents, sometimes she is introduced by your parents. My view of online dating is like sending poems to a class mate, the difference is that online she is in another class not yours : she can dismiss your passion without risk if you don't match a feature list.

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5. 5. Rabe 03:10 PM 8/2/12

   maybe is it a prejudice : by evolution of mating the male has to be the hunter ... lol

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6. 6. zygorp 07:45 AM 8/6/12

   Other than frustrated curiosity about industrial trade secrets, I don't see what prevents researchers from doing the experiments described to test the effectiveness of any given dating site's algorithm. Treat it like a black box or like a not-yet-understood element of nature under investigation--one does not have to know what is in there in order to study it.

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7. 7. zygorp 07:57 AM 8/6/12

   As in most areas of live, I think men and women have a very different experience on dating sites. I found it a little frustrating that the article never addressed this.
   
   The difference is fueled by the gender ratio of any given site, which I believe is always heavier with males. The more imbalanced the ratio, the more men will become mainly the writers of messages and the more women will become mainly the readers of messages. The men become like fishermen running trot lines, trying to put out as many hooks as possible. The women casually read their messages, or just delete them because they received so many.
   
   A few years ago, AFF showed statistical graphs about their member community. As, I recall, there were several times as many men as women. It would be interesting if membership stats could be obtained for all the different services.

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8. 8. Daniel35 02:10 AM 8/8/12

   For many who have tried it, and who haven't, limiting oneself to loving just one other person, or pretending to, sucks. Create universal love, not babies, and doubly reduce the causes of war.

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9. 9. ErinC in reply to Bryllars 08:14 AM 10/8/12

   Owning, managing and promoting a website costs a lot of money. Companies that offer free services do so on the back of advertising revenue or passing on details to third-parties.
   
   There has a been a debate about free vs paying dating sites for some time now, but it's clear to most users that fee-based dating sites offer better features, better customer service and, crucially, more committed users. People who pay for a service recognise the value of that service and make an effort to use it to the best possible degree.
   
   The message is: shop around and find the site that suits you, your age, your interests. While there are always exceptions, generally speaking, dating sites that are free have less active customer service and less active and committed members.

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10. 10. findlove 08:36 AM 12/21/12

    I agree with you erin, i tried many major online dating sites, but one i found to be the best was www.whereloveisfound.com. It had a good size member base and it was actually free. I went on a couple dates from there so far and i have to admit that the women and men ont here looked pretty good :D. try it out and let me know how it worked for you.

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