In late April the Associated Press reported the discovery of a diary written by a woman, Johanna Fantova, who was a close friend of Albert Einstein. "The 62-page diary, written in German, was discovered in February in Fantova's files at Princeton University's Firestone Library, where she had worked as a curator," the AP story noted. One fascinating revelation of the diary is that Einstein received a parrot as a 75th-birthday gift. According to the AP, "After deciding the bird was depressed, Einstein tried to alter its mood by telling bad jokes."

Parrots can live for a century. In early May I may (or may not) have encountered a parrot that may (or may not) have been the bird entertained by Einstein. Speaking in German-accented English, the parrot recited a monologue. What follows is a transcript of that monologue:

This article was originally published with the title Einstein's Parrot.

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