Got a friend who thinks most people are jerks? It is probably no surprise that he is not the nicest person in other contexts, either. But the way you view others may reveal much more about your character than you think, according to a study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
Researchers at Wake Forest University, the University of Nebraska and Washington University in St. Louis found that college students who were more inclined to rate their peers positively—as being trustworthy, nice and emotionally stable—reported greater life satisfaction, less depression, and better grades and test scores. In general, women were more likely to rate others positively than men, although the study did not examine why. And a survey of the volunteers’ classmates showed that people who rated others positively were more likely to be well regarded by their peers and to be judged as being agreeable, conscientious and emotionally stable.
On the other hand, those with negative opinions of others were more apt to be disagreeable, antisocial and narcissistic. “You stand to learn a number of very different things about a person from just observing whether the person describes others positively or not,” says lead author Dustin Wood, an assistant psychology professor. Most surprising, Wood says, was how little those perceptions changed a year later. “The stability of these tendencies means that they may consistently act as a lens that darkens your experience of other people or brightens it,” he says. And therefore, Wood says, your perception of others “may be hard to change.”
This article was originally published with the title If You Don't Have Anything Nice to Say.
See what we're tweeting about
25 Comments
Add CommentThe truth of one's character being revealed by what he/she says and think about others has been known by many cultures. In Arabic, for example, there is a saying which when literally translated says,"everyone sees others with the eyes of his character." It is good to see this confirmed scientifically.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisBut I have a question; when a person behaves negatively towards others, is it because he/she perceived them as negative and responded in kind or is it because he/she has established negative behavioural habits which make people respond to him/her in kind and thus lead him/her to perceive others as negative?
J'aime beaucoup...
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisJ'aime beaucoup
l'écorce d'un
arbre qui chante
dans la rime
d'un chêne infini,
j'aime la naturelle
voix qui rappelle
la jeunesse et
une douce émotion.
Francesco Sinibaldi
Yes I think its because what lead the person to think something negative of the other was first influenced by their negative outlook towards the other, such as, a look, body language, a vibe, all these contribute to a viscious cycle of behavioral feedback. Humans can stop this cycle if they become conscious of their behaviors and prejudices and stop themselves from judging and instead view others openly without hangups.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisWell, no doubt the folks in concentration camps didn't have a particularly swell opinion of their captors, nor did they have very "happy lives" either. Is there a "correlation" there too? Some people actually "earn" and deserve their bad reputations, although the trick is to not let them pull you down to the same level. Or as the saying goes that's posted outside the house of Hugh Heffner (that 'ol "narcissist" himself).... Illegitimi non carborundum ("don't let the bastards get you down")!
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisThe lack of self-esteem and jealousy, have been etiologies for weakness, as a manifestation of negativity. The creative temperament is deficient and it is noticeably a factor in the public or private manifestation of negativity. It is a deep rooted signal of unipolar depression, with an inability to exert dominance, but only in a negative style.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisIf you think ANYTHING a wet-eared, barely legal, barely grown, beer-drinking, party-going, self-absorbed college student thinks/says/does has anything at all to do with a 64 year old retiree, think again. Write about generational differences; write about the decline and disappearance of morality and ethics; write about the fall of Western civilization, but don't try and tell me anything college students say has anything to do with anyone older than them; they don't. Absurd on the face of it, because of the implications and the false assumptions. Aberrant nonsense.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisGood point about the "participants" in this "study", not to mention that this is the very same "Facebook" generation so often cited now for its huge increase in Narcissism (aka, lack of empathy)! And yes, since when did we start using the opinions of "college kids" as a "representative sampling" of anything, much less 'typical' human behavior and norms?
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to this;-p
@jabralnoaimi: Projection is largely a function of the shadow side in the subconscious mind. The shadow side is where we keep all those aspects of ourselves we've repressed -- because others disapproved, because we didn't measure up, or because we took an ideal and put it on a pedestal out of reach. Generally this happens before the age of 5 and isn't remembered by the adult, who simply projects his/her concepts of wrongness, or hero worship, or perfectionism, onto another person or stereotype. This is why self-reflection is often recommended as the remedy for perceived problems in the outside world.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisI think you just proved the point of the article.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisI don't feel like the study shows any merit. What if one works with a bunch of jerks who all hate each other? Might not a negative opinion about someone's character be based on some scientific observation? Likewise, might not other opinions be based on hearsay or gossip? To me, this study has basically discovered only that people who like their jobs and the people they work with are happier people and that those who do not, are not. Well: duh.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisWhat I would love to know instead is whether or not the negative or positive ratings are factually valid. I want to know if I these participants even have the capacity to be objective about others at all in the first place. Also, if all the negative ratings were proven valid, I would want to know if removing negative influences out of the test group caused an increase in happiness. I would also like to know if my negative or positive opinions are projected from my own self-concept or if my self-concept is shaped by the act of passing judgment.
Hey, here's a little known fact. The fact that you publish in a personality journal may reveal far more about the importance of research than you realize!
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisWhat's this, people whose lives are generally not that great (i.e. people who don't enjoy their lives, experience depression and do poorly in school) aren't all that friendly? No way! And what's this, happy people are actually pretty friendly? Geez, go figure.
I think I would be a lot more impressed with personality research if the field didn't just pump out a bunch of hyped up correlations that your average red neck could have figured out. No offense to red necks.
It doesn't make sense. Realizing that everyone except you is an idiot should make you feel good about yourself. How is thinking that you are the only idiot supposed to make you happy?
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisIt explains one of the reasons that why students in schools like MIT have better performance, without assuming the existence of genius.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisI knew the research was flawed with women rating people more positive than men. This is only true in surveys and face to face however, behind their backs is entirely a different story. As a realist with no ax to grind, I find the majority of people are lacking in knowledge and completely uninterested in change. Even when faced with a debate they completely disagree with and have limited knowledge of, they are unwilling to research the information with the simplest of tools, the internet. Ninety percent of Americans are Christians however, the majority of them possess a limited understanding of the bible and believe themselves to be avid followers. And the ten commandment are mere suggestion rather than rules to base their lives on.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisPeople do tend to map their personal qualities onto others. After all it is the way they see the world.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisIf everybody in your world is an asshole, then you're looking at the world from the wrong vantage point ...
So if I have a negative opinion of Adolph Hitler, Josef Stalin, Kim Jong II, Joseph McCarthy, Glenn Beck, members of the U.S. Mafia, and the current group of conservative politicians running the U.S. government, it means I am narcissistic, have a dark side, am disliked by others, and make poor grades?
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisThanks for the assessment.
Jim Cornehls, Ph.D., J.D., generally popular former professor.
Another way of saying this is;
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to this"We see in others what we see in ourselves."
That is a lot of big fancy words to not really say anything.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisYour dismissive negativity tends to indicate that most people don't like you very much.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisVery, very well put.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisNice try to keep people from calling you an ass hole but I find that people that think that way and use such semantic gimmicks to make themselves feel superior tend to actually be thought of as ass holes by those around them.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisAs usual a vague generalization is projected onto everyone with no understanding of extenuating circumstances. I'm generally well liked by the people around me and I like most of them. I actually like my job somewhat. This does not mean I'm happy since I'm being treated for depression and anxiety. There may be a correlation but it certainly isn't an absolute with no exceptions.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisWhat about the neighbor from Hell?
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisthe one that is totally outside the Law.
the one all your nice friends can do nothing about.
I agree with the study and I'm suprised that what we think of others also the reflection others think of us.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisI believe if we can see things or friends positively,the relationship between people will be better.
I feel that the article is true to a certain extent. However, it is not always correct that people viewing others negatively are themselves bad. Probably they might be seen as bad by others but in real they are not. In essence, everyone holds a certain perception about the other man. It takes a lot of courage and truth to praise the other person because everyone out there is more attracted to the faults of the other person so that by highlighting these shortcomings, he appears to be better off.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to this