A key protective factor for bereaved children is quality communication with remaining significant adults. Surely we should err on the side of caution and make support available even for those who do not need it.
Rebecca Abrams
Oxford, England

ARKOWITZ AND LILIENFELD REPLY: Abrams criticizes us for equating the loss of a spouse in old age with the loss of a parent in childhood. We agree that such a parallel is inappropriate; in fact, we made it clear in our article that “grief is not a one-size-fits-all experience.”

She also says that most children and teenagers will experience anxiety, depression and social withdrawal in the first two years after a major loss. Yet these emotional setbacks develop into disorders in only one out of five youngsters. That percentage confirms rather than refutes our central argument: as emotionally devastating as loss can be, resilience following such loss is the norm, not the exception.

2 Comments

1. 1. JamesDavis 04:59 PM 4/1/12

   In defense of preschool: The best way for a small child to learn is play while they learn and learn while they play. A child retains more when they hear, see, say, and experience learning first hand. This is especially true for preschool children; that is why it is important that the teacher is a well qualified preschool teacher who is very familiar with this form of teaching and learning. It is a well known fact, by all the best teachers who teach small children, that preschool children learn best when they are outside where they can experience what the teacher is presenting to them.

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2. 2. DrLPalmer 03:26 AM 4/4/12

   Please get Montessori straight. Misunderstandings of Montessori are universal. Three stages take place in a Montessori lesson where the teacher sits down with an individual pupil and demonstrates/teaches the proper use of a didactic tool (activity) and the self-correcting aspects of the materials. 1. "This is..." (names and explains). 2. Teacher tests knowledge by asking or telling open-ended sentence fragment, "Which is...? (Recognition: child points to or selects). 3. Teacher asks or otherwise cues response, "What is...? (recall). Children, while demonstrating amazing attention and concentration while engaging with activities in the highly prepared classroom, are NOT playing in the usual sense of doing whatever the choose to do. In fact, the Montessori teacher removes the child or material if it is not used appropriately. The child may not use the material for purposes other than what is intended to be taught at a particular stage using the prepared teaching tool. The didactic materials are designed to teach explicit understandings through appropriate repetition of construction or arrangement. Each of the materials is taught directly to each child individually to the point that the child can take the materials and complete the activity to completion and self-satisfaction. Without knowing the complete description of the criteria in the article, I suspect that the authors equated incidental learning and free play with preschool practice and that viewpoint, while common, is incorrect. PreSCHOOL teaches and practices fundamental concepts as foundations for more advanced steps in curricular sequences. Playful approaches may be different from "play" and careful definition leads to clarity and deeper understanding of professional practice.
   Even preschool literature is read for the purpose of modeling problems, behavior, and morals. Classroom materials are tools for teaching something explicit. Otherwise, play is just pastime wandering. Pretend play is valuable because it exercises fantasy and visualization. Recognizing the different types of play is essential for teachers so that development can be noticed and encouraged.
   Lyelle Palmer, Ph.D., Winona State Univ.(Emeritus).

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