Image: Kyle T. Webster
If you think that nasty co-worker is creating problems for you alone, think again. His rudeness may have a ripple effect that extends as far as your spouse’s workplace. A recent study at Baylor University found that working with horrible colleagues can generate far-reaching stress that follows you home, causing unhappiness for your spouse and family and ultimately affecting your partner’s job. The study was published in August in the Journal of Organizational Behavior.
Study author Merideth J. Ferguson, a psychologist and an assistant professor of management at Baylor, used statistical software to analyze the relation between employee reports of co-worker rudeness and reports by the employee’s partner of home and work life. Not surprisingly, she found that exposure to rudeness created stress for both partner and family. She also found a direct correlation between the rudeness that the employee experienced and stress at the partner’s workplace.
Keeping workplace stress outside the home can be difficult, especially when it is chronic, Ferguson says. Being treated unkindly by a colleague can cause loss of self-esteem, anxiety and depression, which underminesyour happiness outside of work.
“Some people can successfully address that issue by being mindful of where they are and what they are doing,” Ferguson says. To do that, she suggests focusing strictly on family and friends when at home and devoting your full attention to work when you are at the office. Talking to a counselor or psychologist about the stress or learning stress-management techniques (such as taking strategic breaks) can help, too.
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8 Comments
Add CommentI like how the author, Ms. Winnie Yu, uses pronouns and place all the blame of stress in the workforce on the he's and him's. The she's must not create any stress in the workforce or at home.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisIt would also be good if the editor of this article took some editing classes at their local college. "underminesyour" in the next to last paragraph, is not a word.
The proponents of "attitude for attitude's sake" (half the entertainment industry, at least) should read this article.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisI noticed this gender bias as well. Very, well, rude.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisMs. Yu, is it always a "he" that is a difficult, rude boss??
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisMy own experience is that WOMEN supervisors can be even worse, and are more likely to be rude, especially to other women. Several companies where I have worked had an unwritten rule that the supervisor of the "steno pool" was a male, usually at the "steno pool's" request.
Also, my experience is that a rude or difficult person at work very often has outside issues, marital or money problems that are the root cause. It very well could be the spillover effect you describe. I use this hypothesis to help me deal with the problem, to have some compassion for the person, and to not add to the rudeness but to break the chain of rudeness, to act as a buffer. It doesn't always work, there are some bad apples out there, but then bad apples don't last long usually.
I sell construction products. One of the companies I represented had a notorious second generation owner. One day I was talking to a contractor and this owner's name came up. The contractor said that he had replaced the driveway at the home of this owner. The owner came home one day and was met in the yard by the wife who screamed and berated him in front of everyone about various issues while he was passive and humiliated. She did not work so I don't know where she picked up this "rudeness", but I learned where his came from.
I have found that rude and difficult customers are profitable. I actually look for them. It can take a while but they can usually be "won over", and when they are, they are very loyal and considerate. And, my competitors stay away.
I have also found that in general, males are less inclined to make issues a personal matter, whereas females most often make everything personal.
There's an old saying:
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to this"When men talk to their friends, they insult each other.
They don't really mean it.
When women talk to their friends, they compliment each other.
They don't mean it either."
This can be put down to "gender bias" but I see it as nutshelling behavioral patterns observable worldwide, throughout history.
It underlies why women experienced the "glass ceiling" and why men rarely "invade" womens' groups.
Men and women simply relate to others differently. That doesn't mean either gender is doing it wrong.
We will never approach gender equality until this is recognized as a fact of life and taken into account in all interpersonal relationships including those in the workplace.
JamesDavis and the comments that followed fail in their understanding of proper pronoun usage, as indicated in most writers' "style books". I prefer the Strunk and White series. Most journalists abide by the grammatical rules and standards, using proper grammar, not political correctness of the day. When gender is unknown, it proper to use male pronoun, and not the cumbersome he/she and the awkward his or hers. Commentaries indicate overly sensitivity, even use the forum to bash female supervisors and co-workers; none complain about author's usage, which might be a worthwhile discussion; many people take exception to the established rule. The comments betray workplace grief by their ease to Ms. Yu's use of masculine pronoun, by concluding that she was calling out out men as the only offenders. I did not see that.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisAbsolutely agree with James Davis that "underminesyour" has no place in the English language. Unfortunate for Ms. Yu "undermines her" own credibility by her and editor's failure to utilize spell checker or find one the many phrases that more accurately describe the her thoughts.
Ummm...she uses the male pronoun exactly once. Women are told over and over not to worry about the use of the male pronouns, that they are intended to refer to everyone...but once it is used in a way that a man sees as sexist you come out swinging. Interesting.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisAlso, you need to heed your own words...please see your first paragraph where there are at least two errors: "uses pronouns and place all the blame..." should say places all the blame. Also the plural of 'she' is not she's. Those who live in glass houses....
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