Every day, millions of single adults, worldwide, visit an online dating site. Many are lucky, finding life-long love or at least some exciting escapades. Others are not so lucky. The industry—eHarmony, Match, OkCupid, and a thousand other online dating sites—wants singles and the general public to believe that seeking a partner through their site is not just an alternative way to traditional venues for finding a partner, but a superior way. Is it?

With our colleagues Paul Eastwick, Benjamin Karney, and Harry Reis, we recently published a book-length article in the journal Psychological Science in the Public Interest that examines this question and evaluates online dating from a scientific perspective. One of our conclusions is that the advent and popularity of online dating are terrific developments for singles, especially insofar as they allow singles to meet potential partners they otherwise wouldn’t have met. We also conclude, however, that online dating is not better than conventional offline dating in most respects, and that it is worse is some respects.

Beginning with online dating’s strengths: As the stigma of dating online has diminished over the past 15 years, increasing numbers of singles have met romantic partners online. Indeed, in the U.S., about 1 in 5 new relationships begins online. Of course, many of the people in these relationships would have met somebody offline, but some would still be single and searching. Indeed, the people who are most likely to benefit from online dating are precisely those who would find it difficult to meet others through more conventional methods, such as at work, through a hobby, or through a friend.

For example, online dating is especially helpful for people who have recently moved to a new city and lack an established friendship network, who possess a minority sexual orientation, or who are sufficiently committed to other activities, such as work or childrearing, that they can’t find the time to attend events with other singles.

It’s these strengths that make the online dating industry’s weaknesses so disappointing. We’ll focus on two of the major weaknesses here: the overdependence on profile browsing and the overheated emphasis on “matching algorithms.”

Ever since Match.com launched in 1995, the industry has been built around profile browsing. Singles browse profiles when considering whether to join a given site, when considering whom to contact on the site, when turning back to the site after a bad date, and so forth. Always, always, it’s the profile.

What’s the problem with that, you might ask? Sure, profile browsing is imperfect, but can’t singles get a pretty good sense of whether they’d be compatible with a potential partner based on that person’s profile? The answer is simple: No, they cannot.

A series of studies spearheaded by our co-author Paul Eastwick has shown that people lack insight regarding which characteristics in a potential partner will inspire or undermine their attraction to him or her (see here, here, and here ). As such, singles think they’re making sensible decisions about who’s compatible with them when they’re browsing profiles, but they can’t get an accurate sense of their romantic compatibility until they’ve met the person face-to-face (or perhaps via webcam; the jury is still out on richer forms of computer-mediated communication). Consequently, it’s unlikely that singles will make better decisions if they browse profiles for 20 hours rather than 20 minutes.

15 Comments

1. 1. sparcboy 08:48 AM 5/8/12

   "Indeed, it appears that eHarmony excludes certain people from their dating pool, leaving money on the table in the process, presumably because the algorithm concludes that such individuals are poor relationship material. ... As long as you’re not one of the omitted people, that is a worthwhile service."
   
   If you've ever been in a relationship with a person who would have been "omitted", then you know firsthand just how worthwhile it could be.

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2. 2. JohnOstrowick 03:01 PM 5/8/12

   Worked for me. I suppose it depends on how literate you are psychologically speaking. One can read a lot in people's profile pictures and their writeups about themselves. I tried match.com and found it useless; the profile pictures were tiny and the level of detail was poor. The site I used had high detail about pets, hobbies, income, clothing preferences, etc etc, and I found the matching algorithm pretty good.

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3. 3. sethdayal 03:54 PM 5/8/12

   The ones that work are the ones that have local events like pub nights, hikes, picnics etc. You look to see who is going, something about them, then head. Name tags, and easy appoach to friendly folks works gangbusters.
   
   Plentyoffish is the model.

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4. 4. Voigt-Kampf Machine 03:17 AM 5/9/12

   So the author is saying that the upside is the enormous exposure to other people. The downsides include the inability to make good decisions based on profiles alone and the lack of evidence to suggest that algorithms are effective.
   
   Unless a site uses its algorithm to hike up the price (which many do) I don't see a downside to profile-browsing. People's ability to judge others intuitively can vary (sometimes being quite good). Plus, I can't imagine it's less effective judging someone by their profile than it'd be if you ran into that person in public as a complete stranger, with no knowledge of them.
   
   The downside they present for profile-browsing has nothing to do with profile-browsing itself. It has to do with the fact that people, left to their own devices, often have a crude understanding of what they want and need in a relationship.

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5. 5. riesling 07:58 PM 5/9/12

   I met my wife on OKCupid. We are very happily married. Our marriage would never have happened if online dating did not exist - due to the large geographical distance between us, we would never have met otherwise.
   
   I dispute the authors' argument that no algorithm can work. OKCupid users can assign their own weights to the Q & A pairs that are used by the matching algorithm - in effect, each user builds his or her own matching algorithm. Then comes the reading of personal profiles. Then a decision is made whether or not to contact each potential partner. It worked perfectly for us, and soon we will have children who would never have been born if OKCupid did not exist.

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6. 6. Geopelia 08:45 AM 5/10/12

   Algorithms are all very well, but until the couple meet there is no way to know if there will be a strong sexual attraction. Not love at first sight, but the attraction should be there.
   Without that, marriage becomes just a partnership arrangement, which may be all some couples want, of course.
   "Soulmates" are all very well, but friendship and a good sex life make for a happy marriage.
   
   Try imagining that the girl is another man. Would you be really good mates with the same interests and activities, good work mates,in the Forces together, in the same sports teams, that sort of thing?
   It may seem an odd notion, but it gives you some idea of day to day compatibility.
   
   (Married 48 years)
   

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7. 7. Norwin 07:48 AM 5/15/12

   I believe the crucial factor that separates people or cement them together is the personality (chemistry) that develops after you meet. Profiles are essentially access devices bringing people into contact. It is not uncommon to pick up a totally incompatible someone, just for the fun of it, and ending up happily ever after!

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8. 8. newlight 05:41 PM 5/15/12

   Glad someone pointed out OKcupid, the one site that is truly different. Users (who do NOT have to pay anything!) get to answer and rank up to 5000 questions, which are then compared to others who match their criteria. The result is an actual percentage match! I find it's great, especially since you can call up and compare answers and browse without being tagged. I also like it for a chat with someone far away. I did meet a 99% match recently, but, when it became apparent that he had posted a ten year old foto, my interest waned! Important: be honest or confess within the profile or in the first encounter, please.

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9. 9. JesseWilson in reply to sparcboy 09:29 PM 6/25/12

   I was rejected from the service after answering its questions honestly--and I'd have to agree that I'm not ideal relationship material. I signed up again using a different email address and told them what they wanted to hear, and I got in. Subsequently, I was paired up with some very incompatible people. I agree with the article that eHarmony's matching technology is totally bogus, and I wouldn't recommend the site to anyone. OkCupid has way better matching, and it's $60/month cheaper.

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10. 10. martkell2012 01:21 PM 8/1/12

    Online dating is really how most of my relationships form. Mavenrestin.com and Pof.com don't have some quack formula. I think the best formula is YOU.
    
    The more experienced you are at online dating, the easier it is for you to weed out the bullcrap.

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11. 11. pdlafleur3rd in reply to riesling 05:45 PM 8/30/12

    I was very pleased to read your comment. My GF and I met via Ok Cupid and also vouch for its effectiveness. Prob would never have met her otherwise.

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12. 12. CijaBlack 12:12 PM 10/5/12

    I too found love on OkCupid. I think the "flaw" in a study like this is that you can't break down the process of falling in love to an equation. I think online dating sites are a great tool if they are recognized for being just that. There will never be a magical logarithm that finds you your perfect match online. The human heart has too many variables. What people miss is doing any work ahead of time to figure out what they really want or to process some of their last relationship baggage so that they don't drag it into a new relationship. I think people spend more time researching the purchase of a new car and weighing that against their wants then they do in really figuring out what kind of mate is going to be a good fit in their life.

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13. 13. CarolinHills 07:36 AM 11/29/12

    I met with my husband in <a href="http://www.snoogd.com">social networking site</a> and we are living happily,so I am glad that dating also connected with technology.Some time we both are far away to each other that time also <a href="http://www.snoogd.com">Social dating site</a> very helpful.Thanks for such nice article!!!

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14. 14. CarolinHills 04:59 AM 12/12/12

    Seriously an amazing idea for meeting our partners online.These sites provide you with lot of facilities to judge a person whether he/she is made for you or not.I had tried a site ago but it was not so useful for me but there are sites that really helps One can understand a lot in people's profile pictures and their biodata.

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15. 15. alex_456 01:27 AM 5/7/13

    Try this one likemyvoice.com

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