If you do attempt speed dating, avoid static, standardized conversations. Annual income and body mass index, after all, cannot give you that warm, fuzzy feeling inside. To obtain more experiential information, try telling a joke or casually mentioning that you plan to go, say, bungee jumping next month to see how he or she reacts. Perhaps if I had been more ecologically rational a few years ago, my speed-dating experience would have been more successful as well.

This article was published in print as "Shopping for Love."

8 Comments

1. 1. the Gaul 03:20 PM 2/13/12

   The third word of the article explains the writer's problem. Any/everyone else's?
   
   The barest inkling that you can develop LOVE in 180 seconds is beyond absurd.
   
   [but you sure can get funding for a whole new set of idiotic questions]

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2. 2. priddseren 04:03 PM 2/13/12

   It appears to be a scam on the women. Since men are perfectly ok with other less permanent outcomes, it is a great deal for them all they have to do is be interesting enough in 180 seconds and boom, he has at a minimum a short time of fun and who knows what else. The women on the other hand are probably really looking for more because so few men out there are actually useful, especially if a woman wants a male that thinks beyond his beer guzzling in a sports bar cro-magnon nature.
   
   Now finding a partner online has promise, not as a dating scene but finding someone because it opens up a much larger pool of potential mates and you can spend months vetting and asking questions before meeting. Choosing between online sites and speed dating, I think the months of vetting wins out.

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3. 3. ronburley in reply to the Gaul 04:08 PM 2/13/12

   As someone who went through this process several years ago, I can tell you that it's not about "love" at first sight; it's about meeting someone who you might be able to love in the future. Speed dating, like online matchmaking, eliminates one of the biggest problems in finding an available prospect. Both have advantages and disadvantages. Speed dating allows you to meet in-person, but severely limits the contact. Online dating services allow more advance communication, but the first face-to-face meeting is always a bit of a surprise. Unlike meeting in a bar or at work, speed dating and online services both require a positive response from each participant before things can move forward. It's a bit benefit; you're never faced with that awkward "You're just not my type" conversation. (In the end, I met someone online. We were married last April.)

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4. 4. m 10:44 PM 2/13/12

   I see a few people touch on it now and again, including in the article.
   
   Speed dating, internet dating, normal dating, all of that is pretty irrelevant.
   
   This here paragraph is all you need. People are unsure of what type of person, hair, eyes, mood, career they are after in a partner so NEED to spend time talking to as many people as they can to identify what it is that they want. Once a person has identified this (or these things), it is really EASY for them to go through with a quick chat and identifying people of further interest.
   
   Im not sure if speed dating helps people acquire this emotional knowledge, im going to go out on a limb and say 50/50.
   
   Speed dating is great for Phase 2, you know what youre after, you just need to go through everyone in your area to find the closest equitable match.
   
   Job done.
   
   If you really want to help people you NEED to make a phase 1 dating opportunity, perhaps 10 minutes where people can really spend the time thinking, asking, delving, into psychies and philosophies of different types of people. These mental maps then set the ground work for Phase 2.

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5. 5. m 10:47 PM 2/13/12

   As a P.S if you will. Phase one for joe average can take 1-2 years and 300-500 different people involved.

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6. 6. Bops 02:29 AM 2/14/12

   From experience, all the Mr. Wonder-fulls I thought would work, failed in the long stretch. Almost 20 years with Mr. Opposite, yep I'm happy. Goes to show, what you think you want, may not be.
   
   Bob Hope said in a quote, "I have been married 34 years, and I have considered murder many times, but divorce never.
   I think he's got it right.

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7. 7. Bops in reply to m 02:42 AM 2/14/12

   The average person doesn't need more that a few dates.
   Self-aware types are always too selfish.
   

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8. 8. trishacarson15@gmail.com 07:09 AM 7/6/12

   as per my experience speed dating in some of the way is better. if you are getting your true love in very short time period then all goes correct... read this blog to find true love... http://bit.ly/OcYKkv

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