- In the past few years psychologists have discovered that thriving couples accentuate the positive in life more than those who languish or split do. They not only cope well during hardship but also celebrate the happy moments and work to build more of these into their lives.
- How couples handle good news may matter even more to their relationship than their ability to support each other under difficult circumstances.
- Members of happy couples also individually experience a higher ratio of upbeat emotions to negative ones than people in unsuccessful pairings do. Certain tactics can boost this ratio and thus help to strengthen bonds with others.
Lisa, an elementary school teacher from Ambler, Pa., came home from work one day and said to her husband, “Honey, guess what? I landed that summer teaching position I wanted!” “Wow, congratulations!” he replied. “I know how hard you worked to get that job. I am so happy for you! You must be really excited.” The way Lisa’s husband reacted to her good news was also good news for their marriage, which, 15 years later, is still going strong; such positive responses turn out to be vital to the longevity of a relationship.
Numerous studies show that intimate relationships, such as marriages, are the single most important source of life satisfaction. Although most couples enter these relationships with the best of intentions, many break up or stay together but languish [see “How Science Can Help You Fall in Love,” by Robert Epstein]. Yet some do stay happily married and thrive. What is their secret?
This article was originally published with the title The Happy Couple.