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The Wisdom of Psychopaths
In this engrossing journey into the lives of psychopaths and their infamously crafty behaviors, the renowned psychologist Kevin Dutton reveals that there is a...
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Losing a loved one is always painful, but for most people time eventually heals the wounds. For about 10 to 20 percent of the bereaved, however, accepting and getting over a loss remains extremely difficult, even years later. Now researchers have come a step closer to elucidating the neurobiological underpinnings of this condition called complicated grief (CG). An August 15 functional MRI study in NeuroImage shows that in CG patients reminders of the deceased activate a brain area associated with reward processing, pleasure and addiction.
A team led by Mary-Frances O’Connor of the University of California, Los Angeles, studied 23 women—11 of whom suffered from CG—who had lost a mother or sister to breast cancer in the past five years. While in the scanner, the women saw pictures and words that reminded them of their loved one. Brain networks associated with social pain became activated in all women, but in the CG patients reminders of the deceased also excited the nucleus accumbens, a forebrain area most commonly associated with reward.
O’Connor believes this continued neural reward activity probably interferes with adaptation to the new situation. “When we see a loved one or reminders of a loved one, we are cued to enjoy that experience,” she says. “But when a loved one dies, our brains have to adapt to the idea that these cues no longer predict this rewarding experience.” Scientists do not yet know why some people adapt better than others do.
O’Connor hopes the findings will lead to new treatment strategies that will “help the brains and minds of CG patients understand that the person is gone.”
Note: This article was orignially printed with the title, "When Time Doesn't Heal".
This article was originally published with the title When Time Doesn't Heal.
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16 Comments
Add CommentI am constantly reminded of my late mother, both in a positive sense that makes me feel good and in a negative sense that makes me feel sad. I can think back and laugh about things she's done, be grateful for the lessons she taught me, and smile at the loving care and support she provided all those years. I would assume that such thoughts activate areas of the brain associated with pleasure and the reminder of her death would activate areas associated with pain. However, I don't think I'm addicted to grief.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisI think the key lies in how we respond to death. In my family, it was stressed as a part of life and was something that we where introduced to at an early age through the deaths of pets. We also make jokes about everything and I have seen people making jokes about the death of a loved one less than an hour after they witnessed their death. I think humor and being able to laugh about death really does help.
The key point I see in this article is that it suggests a connection to CG and addiction. Because these memories activate portions of the brain that deal with pleasure (likely releasing dopamine), the person can become chemically addicted to grief. What separates CG from those who remember the dead with fondness? That's the real question.
I don't think this is saying that they are addicted to grief, but that they are in a sense "addicted" to the person and therefore have a harder time letting go, is that right? Addiction is such an emotionally loaded word.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisI think that the answer is FEAR. Fear is what separates CG from all others (opposite to fear). There are many kinds of fear. Those who fear rejection don't fear death. They think of killing thenselves. To reach those with CG you have to find out what triggered the fear inside them. For example: it took my whole life to find out that what was causing all my troubles in life was my deepest fear of rejection. And only after I lost everything I loved that
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisI found out it started when my mother told a joke about me in front of all my siblings, aunts, cousins, etc, that I was abandoned at her door. Fear is something that, as humans, we will try to avoid at all cost: we will locked it inside and get rid of the key - and that is why it is so hard to discover where our troubles come from. "One often meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it." (Kung Fu Panda movie). And HELL (state of mind experiencing our deepest fear) is what those with CG will encounter in life. Hell is worse than death: we desire non-existence of the body and spirit (soul) all together which is impossible. My cure was forgiveness. Forgiveness is for the one who is forgiving and not the one who is being forgiving. I had to forgive God, my mother and myself. Fear is always making someone else responsible for our happiness. Peace is when we make ourselves responsible for our own happiness.
I hope the reasone is ones world view in relation to hope of life.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisdadi ali
zanzibar
tanzania
If you review the link in the article to "functional MRI study" it explains that the reward or addiction is related to attachment theory; viewing the photos stimulates a pleasureable memory of the deceased and a longing to have the relationship again (similar to an addicitive behavior) . I am interested generalizing this study to grieving the loss of other types, such as loss of a spouse to divorce; loss of a serious relationship, etc. which have been known to cause severe depression related to the grief/loss.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisThis is not all one sided.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisMy wife died last March.
I just euthanized the dog.
More people have commented on the death of the dog than Leslee.
Others play some part in this grief business.
It is possible that those who suffer from CG are the ones who always demand the reward from the deceased and somehow, psychologically they bind themselves to the love of the deceased (because they are the receiver and they afraid to lose it). And since they always demand from their beloved, they never let them go. Therefore, when there is a trigger of memory of the deceased, they automatically remember what they receive from them.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisThe point is, the factors that lead to the sufferings are more complicated than just the sticking to the reward memories. It is the way they have treated with their beloved when they were still alive (too much demanding and too little giving) that makes them suffer from the death . If those people can think less of themselves and more of their beloved when they are still alive, they would not suffer from the situation so much.
Therefore, I think even if psychologists can persuade them that the rewards are no longer exist, they still conserve a feeling of sadness so deep insides. Maybe, it is also related to the feeling of regret.
It is possible that the one who suffers from CG is the one who always demands love and rewards from their mothers or sisters when they were still alive, and they bind themselves to this love, therefore they just too afraid to let them go. That is the reason why the reminder of the deseased triggers the part of the brain which is associated with reward, or what they have received from their beloved previously.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisHowever, it is not just their insistance on remaining this love or rewards that makes it hard for them to let go of the deceased. It is the way they treated their beloved when they were still alive that makes them suffer so much. Those who demand so much are likely to be those who give so little. If they have thought less about themselves and more about their beloved when they are still alive, they would not suffer so much like this. Behind the sadness and the longing for the love they once received is a feeling of regret that they did not love their beloved more and did not do much to make them happy, that they were just the receiver, not the giver, eventhough they themselves are not conscious of this fact.
Hence, even if psychologists can persuade that the reward from their loved is no longer existent, they are still likely to conserve a sadness so deep insides. I think the feeling of regret plays an important part in their suffering. It is how they have done, not their ability to adapt to the situation that makes them suffer.
If scientists could conduct more research to find out about their behaviour in the past and their tendency of giving and receiving, it would be more precise to come to a conclusion.
In the book "Working With Resistance," Dr. Martha Stark describes healthy human maturation as a process in which a child forms ego structure and capacity to withstand the traumas of adult life. The engine of this change is the experiencing of optimal disillusionment in the context of a secure attachment with their parent or other primary object. Stark discusses how in this way infantile need transforms into capacity or healthy psychic structure within a loving family situation. Remember that infantile drives are underlain by biological pleasure, the addiction parts of the brain. The fact that in "complicated grief," the reward center of the brain is activated is consistent with the idea that the sufferers did not yet complete a healthy maturation or individuation and continue to have infantile needs. Re experiencing the trauma of the loss with the support of a validating therapist or friend and seeing that the grief does not destroy them can move their brains to rewire. In this way, those with complicated grief finally acquire the capacity to withstand their trauma.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisAs much as the biotech industry would like to use this grief -reward system link to find a new blockbuster drug, evolution's answer is still good old fashioned, yet intensive, community (tribal) support.
Dear Don'tknow,
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisI am so sorry for the death of your wife, Leslee. Please accept my condolences.
You are very correct when you state that "Others play some part in this grief business. " Others provide us with the opportunity to resonate or not. Mirror neurons are the hardware that really allows us to connect with our species and define ourselves as humans and govern our experience of the universe. This connection has at its core emotions. Whether we grieve loss or celebrate a victory, we need to feel understood and valued. In losing your life partner, the one who most closely understood you and valued you, this loss is compounded. And it is especially at this time you need your friends to validate and resonate with your loss. Sadly, our western nuclear family society is not very good at providing this support. I hope you are able to speak clearly to friends and family about your feelings and needs. Sometimes this is when a support group setting can be valuable. I wish I had pursued group supprt when I lost my husband and was left with three small children a number of years ago.
While it is essential to keep "stage" theories in perspective, they are helpful in assisting students and patients conceptualize changes we all experience as we move through life. We are, we hope, evolving selves and stage models, simplistic or not, remain useful tools - along with caveats against over-generalization - in explaining growth and development.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisSo *what* if the brain scan does this or that? We need therapeutics, not idle theorizing that lead to nothing :- (
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisTo the person who lost his wife: my sincere condolences. You shall overcome...
I wonder how many on here have truly lost someone. I don,t mean an elderly parent or a relative. When you,ve lost a child, no matter what age or a spouse, there is no greater lose! I have lost two children, one as an infant and the other in his forties. I managed after a few years to get over the death of my baby, but 47 years later, I lost my son, a beautiful healthy father of three girls!That I can't accept, no matter how hard I try. Our children are not supposed to die before us. For two and a half years, I've wanted to die, but I still have other children for which I'm thanking God for everyday, and grandchildren that I love dearly, so I know it's selfish of me to want out. I'm not afraid to die as I'm a Christian and know where I'm going, but the way things are going in this world it doesn't leave much to want to stick around for.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisIn constant thought of my mom Shirley ruth wilson Arndt. every day since june 24th 1984. San Diegos finest ...ambulatory mix-up .They took your Leg and they took my heart.I need to fill the empty space.The Simplest things like seeing someone who looked like you in the paper...keeps me searching to find you.becaus i still feel you with me...miss you too much.20,000 hrs +
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisShirley R Arndt or Alice Larson ????20,000 volunteer hours in la mesa calif. and i lost you in 1984 in lamesa kinda scarry thought carlasims411@gmail.com
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisThis is a discussion on CG with death, but what about CG when we lose a relationship. I truly and deeply fell in love with a man. He was my best friend and the connection between us was the strongest I have ever felt with a person. But we moved too fast, and he got scared, and we ended up losing each other in the process. I always without a doubt believed that time healed all wounds, but this one won't heal. It has been six months since we split up and my wound is just as fresh now as it was back then. I don't know if it will ever heal.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisI don't think fear is a causation of CG. I am not fearful of being by myself or of never having a relationship again. Am I fearful of never being able to connect with a person as deeply as I did before? No. I think with time in knowing someone, I think a similar connection could be realized. However, the connection I felt with my lost love would still remain, and I think the loss would still be just as painful. I think CG has more to do with love and how connected you were with the person you lost.