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We might think that bullies are quite different from the victims of bullying. But those who become either a bully or a victim actually share similar outlooks and have similar difficulties dealing with their environments. There is, however, one significant risk factor for bullying.
Researchers reviewed and analyzed 153 studies and found that both victims and bullies have poor problem-solving skills within social situations. They also found that boys bully more than girls but here’s a significant point: Those who do poorly in school are at a higher risk of becoming a bully. The research was published this week in the journal School Psychology Quarterly.
Typical bullies have negative attitudes toward others, feel badly about themselves, and most likely grew up in a home with conflict. Victims share much of same, negative attitude, conflict in the family.
But the dividing characteristic: bullies dislike school and tend to perform worse academically than those who later become victims.
Most current solutions try to enforce anti-bullying rules or simply remove the bully from bullying situations. The authors note, however, that the most successful intervention is three-pronged. They suggest simultaneously targeting the areas that may be influencing the potential bully or victim in the first place: the parents, the peers and the schools.
—Christie Nicholson
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16 Comments
Add CommentI think parenting skills education could make a big difference to a lot of people as kids don't come with a handbook and not everyone has a nurturing background experience to pass on
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisparenting skills education could make a big difference to a lot of people as kids don't come with a handbook and not everyone has a nurturing background experience to pass on
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisMy own experiences certainly bear out this analysis. When parental conflict is also directed at kids in a bullying way, children might expect that their only life choices are to become either a compliant victim or an aggressor. Neither choice has much that is positive, but I can see where being a bully looks like the better of the two. But success in school offers a way out. For me, school was a lifeline. I also believe that some kids might fall between the two, choosing passive-aggressive ways of dealing with others. I strongly agree with Kzee about the importance of teaching parenting skills, and that's even more vital if the parents had poor parenting. Perhaps parenting education with role playing, where students would be given various parenting situations to practice, might help break this sad cycle.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisMost of the articles about bullying/victims refer to children or youth. It would be informative to hear about bullying in the workplace...between coworkers and between employer and employee. I am finding there is little recourse for employees who are bullied by supervisors. Whistle blowing is frowned upon as it makes everyone above the abuser look bad for allowing it, so most turn their heads or say the supervisor should be respected, regardless.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to this"But the dividing characteristic: bullies dislike school and tend to perform worse academically than those who later become victims."
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisIs this not the most commonly accepted understanding of bullying? Don't we all know this? Isn't this shown even in the popular comedy, The Simpsons? Scientists confirming common sense -- thank you!
my best friend didn't get past the 8th grade, came from an alcoholic abusive broken family and wouldn't hurt a fly. sweet as can be. GENES! (ie nature over nurture)
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisIt's genes...and mental illness. My father always said, "You have to stand up to them, for them to go away!"
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisBullies are TWITS that get a rush from being a little bit BAD!
Tale of two Cities...very good book on bad bullies.
Personality Disorders...very big on bulling!
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisI don't know about the victims.
They need to learn skills to fight back. I live with a person for 20 years now, and everyday I talk to him about how to change the... "I'm the Boss Problem" !
He can BOSS himself...as much as he pleases. But NOT ME!!!
He is NOT better than everyone else, he is EQUAL.
It works most of the time. Yes, he did have a very bad childhood. I was so lucky, my childhood was wonderful and my parents were great. Thanks to them...I love and help him. He knows that he is very, very lucky that I am still here.
problem kids typically come from problem homes - is it 60% of abusers have been abused themselves, so they are simply repeating what they know.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisMany years ago I had a girlfriend who used to physically attack me (she was an Olympic level athlete) - it turned out she grew up being bashed by her father and brother, and I was a revelation to her as the first long term relationship she did not default to physical abuse.
I'm also looking at vandalism - people who are happy do not want to damage/hurt others - it's an expression of anger and frustration.
I'd suggest a village approach to set peer examples that they can easily follow with positive rewards for improvement rather than a descending punishment spiral that just leaves them in jail waiting for the next time to get out and wreak more havoc on those that they feel did them harm (it's never their fault, etc.).
While it's true Targets (aka victims) may struggle to interpret social situations, this is what brings on the bullying. Rather, the undermining and adversive controlling nature of being bullied causes the Target to second-guess their perceptions of social situations. It is the bullying that brings about this insecurity, not the insecurity that brings about the bullying.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisAngela Monaghan, On T.R.A.C. for BULLYING PREVENTION, endbullyingnow@gmail.com
kalimi - I agree with MartialArts808.com, that environment tends to influence social behavior more than genes do.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisAlso, please be aware that sweetness and good-naturedness, especially after an abusive upbringing, can be signs of Nice Guy (or Gal) syndrome, an emotion-suppressing survival mechanism acquired early in life. I hope that's not the case with your friend, but, speaking from personal experience and observation it's very common and ultimately unhealthy.
When you say victims just need to stand up to bullies and fight back, it sounds very much like "blaming the victim," implying that they are just wimps. This just adds to the victims further victimization by implying that there is something wrong with them. Bullies a very hard, sometime impossible to stand up to, as they are often bigger kids who intentionally pick on smaller kids, and often do it with bully friends when they find the victim alone. Be careful with this simplistic "solution." The best way to fight bullying is for all of us to teach our kids 'moral autonomy," which is a good sense of right and wrong that we maintain under group or cultural pressure. For those who witness bullying and don't stand up for the victim and tell the bully to knock it off, they are contributing to the problem. Bullies are cowards who seek out easy targets. If everyone supported the victims and stood up against bullying, there would be less of it and it would do less harm.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisIn regards to the concept of moral autonomy, I think that life's greatest heroes were those Germans who had the inner conviction that what Hitler was doing was wrong and helped and harbored the Jews despite the fact that the rest of their culture was supporting Hitler, - risked their own lives just because they had their own internal values, even when the rest of their society was trying to justify what Hitler was doing. The persecution of the jews was mass bullying, and those who permitted it by not standing up against it, were also to blame. Bravo for those brave heroes who cared!
Excellent point EBN. This is a report on metaresearch of 153 studies, so not to be taken lightly, but I'd like to hear more about whether the targets' similarities are associative or causative.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisWhen I was bullied as a kid I was told to stand up to the bully. After I sank the clawed end of a hammer into the back of his head I discovered that what they really meant was "Shut up and stop whining, we don't want to hear about it". The best way to fight bullying isn't to "stand up to them". The best way is to alert people in authority that actually have a working brain and have them deal with it. It that doesn't work then build a support network to face them down and if needed then sink the clawed end of a hammer into their head. Hopefully they won't die from it or suffer massive brain damage.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisNot only did the little dirtbag not bully me ever again, he also changed how he dealt with others because I told him I was watching him and would finish the job if he ever bullied again. Sometimes fighting does solve problems.
I believe there needs to be more information available to the children in schools. Maybe bullying classes and how to avoid and deal with these growing problems. It also just makes since that the once causing the bullying come from bullying families so they need to know how to deal with their problems at home rather than take it out on another child.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisExcellent article about the victim-perpetrator paradigm - both bullies and victims fall into the same category and must rise above the entire paradigm in order to transcend being either a victim, or a bully. I've been harassed online by a person claiming to be a victim of me, have seen first hand how victims and bullies share the same personality characteristics. I've written an article on the topic at <a href="http://www.squidoo.com/bully-victim">The Bully Victim</a>
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