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We humans are introspective. We observe patterns of our own behavior and we have memories for review. So you probably think you know yourself pretty well, right?
Not so fast. In fact, others can have much more accurate impressions of us than we do. That’s according to a review article in the journal Current Directions in Psychological Science.
The challenge in knowing oneself is that we have blind spots. These gaps are fueled by fears and an unconscious drive to maintain a particular self-image or self-worth. One study showed that even watching a recording of yourself that may be at odds with your self-perception does not change that self-perception. But others watching the same tape easily spot the inconsistency.
A 2010 study found that friends are significantly more accurate in judging traits like intelligence, talkativeness and creativity—traits that are observable and measurable. So when a friend says, “You know, you’re really smart,” it’s very possible that you really are smart.
What we can accurately gauge is our own levels of anxiety and self-esteem. So when giving a presentation, for instance, you’re probably much more aware of state of mind than your audience is. And speaking as a presenter, that’s a good thing to keep in mind.
—Christie Nicholson
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11 Comments
Add CommentGood news, maybe someone who knows me helps reassure me that I am smart; Bad news, same person seeks to undermine me or knows better than I, and "breaks it to me" that I am not as smart as I imagine myself to be. Mirror mirror on the wall...
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisSo let me get this straight. Researchers collected a personal account ranking one's own traits (self-report), an account provided by a friend (friend's evaluation) and compared these to an objective measure of each trait (independent observer's evaluation). Am I the only one who sees the rather obvious flaw in this design?
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisWell, I'll spell it out for you. It's great that all of these traits are "traits that are observable and measurable"; but that does not necessarily allow for an objective evaluation. When a person evaluates his or her own traits, does that person solely take into account his or her public persona? No, probably not. On the other hand, when a friend or an independent observer evaluate that same person's traits, these individuals are only privy to the publicly visible behaviours of the subject. So then, wouldn't we expect a friend's evaluation to be more closely correlated to the "objective" evaluation of these traits than say the self-reported evaluation? Most certainly.
I think I would describe this article in a different fashion, perhaps as follows:
"While you may think you know the real you, do you really? Is the inner you real, or is your public persona the sole domain by which we evaluate your character? According to a recent paper in Current Directions in Psychological Science, it appears that psychologists believe that latter. What's your opinion? Actually, that doesn't matter, 'cause you're not a psychologist. And only they are allowed to draw flawed conclusions from biased data."
Good points... harsh, but good points.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisGood article but but very simplistic. We all see others differently, i.e., to some I'm :Dad", to others I'm the guy that can fix your bicycle (car, computer, tractor), to another, I'm the guy that caught more fish than you did and you are still mad. To some I'm just a jerk, but considering the source, that might be a compliment. All of these are valid opinions/views.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisAlso, any two people may see the same person from the same vantage point and have very different opinions/views. We all have very different yardsticks to measure these types of traits with, too. "Smart" can be relative, subjective, or absolute. Not many are trained psychologists, and even they are "human".
Some days go well and I consider myself the smartest guy in the world. Sometimes things don't go quite that well.
So is there a right or wrong, correct or incorrect "view" of ourselves here?? There is good info in the opinions of others. How we interpret and use the info is another discussion.
I have a friend who is full of fulsome praise for me; he may be right about that, but he also praises others for whom I have very little regard, so I don't trust him.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisOn the other hand, regarding a friend's intelligence--what if I feel someone is intelligent simply because they agree with me, or feel that they're stupid because they disagree with me? Should we call on Christie Nicholson to decide? But if she's inclined to agree with either one of us, then the other one can hardly trust her?
And finally, one's public persona can be very misleading. (That's what to say when people say you're stupid!)
Man... I'm not even a psychologist and I can tell someone has a chip on their shoulder.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisI would have expected, at least by now, Christie would say a word re: the comment by zstanfsi.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisGood points... harsh, but good points.| <a href="http://www.oyuncemberi.com" title="silah oyunları">silah oyunları</a>|
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisThere is no "control" element for subjectivity induced by "self observation and then reporting" vis a vis "observation by friend". Maybe the experiment design can include a set of friends and then cross question the across so instead of asking B about A (after ofcourse A about A himself/herself) then A about B, make the sample set commute in itself lets A1 to A10 for e.g. More the merrier. I am not sure if this was used for the experiment. That sure will eliminate some amount of subjectivity.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisI tend to hold Zstanfsi's view of this study but without the harsh undertone. I believe that others may be able to provide a better view of my value to society than my own perception but I doubt that they can provide a better view of what they are not allowed to see.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisSelf perceptions do not always equal the perceptions of others. 360Reach - the personal branding assessment (disclosure: I work for the company that created this assessment) allows you to identify your own attributes then get input from others so you can do a comparative analysis.
Reply | Report Abuse | Link to thisIt is often really eye-opening. http://www.reacchcc.com/360v4register