369-pound, 22-inch Woofer

"For all you Escalade owners, Navigator drivers, and Hummer crews. For the players who know the game and the VIPs who know where the party's at....[More]

369-pound, 22-inch Woofer

"For all you Escalade owners, Navigator drivers, and Hummer crews. For the players who know the game and the VIPs who know where the party's at. Your woofer has arrived." (Because sometimes the best copy of all comes straight from the manufacturer.)

$7,500  [Less] [Link to this slide]

Attack of the [Razr] Clones

You like Motorola's Razr? Well, do ya punk? Then here's all the Razr clones in the world ! In the wake of the original ultra-slim phone's runaway success, the me-too wagon is about to get mighty crowded....[More]

Attack of the [Razr] Clones

You like Motorola's Razr? Well, do ya punk? Then here's all the Razr clones in the world! In the wake of the original ultra-slim phone's runaway success, the me-too wagon is about to get mighty crowded. Forget the Sanyo Katana—everyone knows Nokia's software is the mad beastmaster of mobile usability—finally, the Razr done right.

$600  [Less] [Link to this slide]

Ambient Electronics

This magical device will keep you dry in even the most frightful of downpours! Along with other recent advances, such as the automotocar and vulcanized rubber, it almost guarantees victory in the war against the Kaiser....[More]

Ambient Electronics

This magical device will keep you dry in even the most frightful of downpours! Along with other recent advances, such as the automotocar and vulcanized rubber, it almost guarantees victory in the war against the Kaiser. Also, the handle contains an advanced chip technology that pings accuweather.com and blinks if it's going to rain.

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Mortal Kombat Returns

Ready to test your might ? The people who brought you the joystick that crammed the entire guts of an original Atari into one little controller are back, and this time they're releasing the original inspiration for Sen....[More]

Mortal Kombat Returns

Ready to test your might? The people who brought you the joystick that crammed the entire guts of an original Atari into one little controller are back, and this time they're releasing the original inspiration for Sen. Joe Lieberman's campaign against video game violence in one deliciously cheap, ready-to-play package.

$20  [Less] [Link to this slide]

Ginormous TV

Like a snapshot of the Grand Canyon, no photograph can ever really do justice to the scale of this television, which is bigger than a twin bed. That woman's grinning mug?...[More]

Ginormous TV

Like a snapshot of the Grand Canyon, no photograph can ever really do justice to the scale of this television, which is bigger than a twin bed. That woman's grinning mug? Like a four- foot- tall floating death's head—get close enough and you can see the fillings in her teeth.

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WowWee Alive™ Elvis®

Were you aware that WowWee robotics, makers of Robosapien, had trademarked the word alive? Well now you know, you infringing weasel—and you'll be hearing from the Recording Industry Association of America's lawyers, who they have retained on account of their trade group's past successes in prosecuting everyday citizens....[More]

WowWee Alive™ Elvis®

Were you aware that WowWee robotics, makers of Robosapien, had trademarked the word alive? Well now you know, you infringing weasel—and you'll be hearing from the Recording Industry Association of America's lawyers, who they have retained on account of their trade group's past successes in prosecuting everyday citizens. Meantime, enjoy your animatronic Elvis head, which can join you in a duet or else randomly spout Elvis-isms: "Ambition is a dream with a V-8 engine."

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Triple Monitor Adapter

Bill Gates uses three monitors , and so does Larry Page . Jason Calcanis of Weblogs, Inc. has even declared that " Large monitors make [knowledge workers] about 100% percent more effective ." The unfortunately-named but technologically marvelous TripleHead 2Go makes three- monitor Nirvana possible even for folks who might normally be able to support only one monitor....[More]

Triple Monitor Adapter

Bill Gates uses three monitors, and so does Larry Page. Jason Calcanis of Weblogs, Inc. has even declared that "Large monitors make [knowledge workers] about 100% percent more effective." The unfortunately-named but technologically marvelous TripleHead2Go makes three- monitor Nirvana possible even for folks who might normally be able to support only one monitor. YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED.

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Wireless Power

Wireless power is kind of a crazy idea. Do we really want gigantic standing electromagnetic fields permeating our offices just so we can save ourselves the nine-tenths of a second it takes to put our cell phone in its cradle?...[More]

Wireless Power

Wireless power is kind of a crazy idea. Do we really want gigantic standing electromagnetic fields permeating our offices just so we can save ourselves the nine-tenths of a second it takes to put our cell phone in its cradle? Fortunately, eCoupled is a little less ambitious than that—their wireless power only works when you lay your gizmo on top of a part of your desk that's designated for such functions. Best of all, it's smart enough to tell the difference between your cell phone and that metal plate in your head. (Were you using a competing technology it could, in theory, cook your brain.).

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Heads-Up Displays

These were big this year, but not as big as they could be—look for CES 2017 to include eyeglasses that let you enjoy a movie while looking alert during a boring staff meeting....[More]

Heads-Up Displays

These were big this year, but not as big as they could be—look for CES 2017 to include eyeglasses that let you enjoy a movie while looking alert during a boring staff meeting. Icuiti showed off a system that will let you view anything from videos to spreadsheets in true HD, Headplay intro'd their tennis-visor model, TDVision coughed up a bunch of what appears to be largely vaporware, SportVue dodged the potentially lucrative mainstream with systems designed for motorcycle racing, and Private Eye Video featured the inevitable cheap Chinese knockoff, whose promotional literature breathlessly declares "WATCH XXX RATED DVD PRIVATELY EVEN IN PUBLIC ANYWHERE AND ANYTIME!!!"

$250 and up  [Less] [Link to this slide]

PCGamerBike

Techies, like Germans, like to smash lots of words together into one super-duper compound word. Another thing the two have in common is a love of rich foods—unfortunately for the geeks, their levels of activity can't match that of their Saxon brethren, hence the need for the PCGamerBike, which will force them to get some exercise while they're cruising Second Life for extra-marital chat....[More]

PCGamerBike

Techies, like Germans, like to smash lots of words together into one super-duper compound word. Another thing the two have in common is a love of rich foods—unfortunately for the geeks, their levels of activity can't match that of their Saxon brethren, hence the need for the PCGamerBike, which will force them to get some exercise while they're cruising Second Life for extra-marital chat. Bonus: fitness guru Tony Little verbally abuses a geek with an endocrine disorder in this PCGamerBike infomercial.

price N/A  [Less] [Link to this slide]

Linux-Powered Cellphone

Were you aware that your cell phone is an instrument of oppression? It's true: just ask Cory Doctorow , the creative commons advocate who works tirelessly to keep the government out of your virtual womb (aka your iPod)....[More]

Linux-Powered Cellphone

Were you aware that your cell phone is an instrument of oppression? It's true: just ask Cory Doctorow, the creative commons advocate who works tirelessly to keep the government out of your virtual womb (aka your iPod). The problem is that all those phones can only run the software that their various makers say they can run—if computers were like that, Linux and Firefox never would have happened. Hence the Greenphone, which is one slightly quixotic attempt to create a totally open, Linux-powered phone (so that some day we can all experience the joy of using a command-line interface on our handsets).

$700  [Less] [Link to this slide]

Wi-Fi Spy Robot

In an effort to rob parents of whatever shred of privacy they might have left, the mad francophone geniuses at Erector (yes, that Erector ) gifted this world with a terrestrial version of the Martian Opportunity probe, or possibly a consumer version of those bomb-defusing robots SWAT teams use—only this one has been enlisted for the dangerous job of investigating the strange noises coming from mom and dad's room....[More]

Wi-Fi Spy Robot

In an effort to rob parents of whatever shred of privacy they might have left, the mad francophone geniuses at Erector (yes, that Erector) gifted this world with a terrestrial version of the Martian Opportunity probe, or possibly a consumer version of those bomb-defusing robots SWAT teams use—only this one has been enlisted for the dangerous job of investigating the strange noises coming from mom and dad's room. It has a camera for a head and, via the magic of the World Wide Web, can be controlled from anywhere on Earth.

$270  [Less] [Link to this slide]

The New Napster

Remember Napster? You'd type in "Master of Puppets" and five minutes later you'd be reliving halcyon days of summer camps past....[More]

The New Napster

Remember Napster? You'd type in "Master of Puppets" and five minutes later you'd be reliving halcyon days of summer camps past. What if you could still do that—guzzle all the music you want, for free, and be forever beyond the reach of the RIAA? Well you can., 'cause the Supreme Court pronounced that recording any broadcast that comes into your home is fair use. So what if Broadclilp's MediaCatcher software agents are doing all the recording for you, and the sum of your involvement was typing in a few keywords? Broadclip also works for TV—check it out before it blows up so big they have to make a new law against it.

free  [Less] [Link to this slide]

Hack Your Car

Somewhere in the dashboard of your car is a 16-pin connector that will allow you direct access to the computerized brain of your vehicle. This brain knows a lot—it knows, for instance, whether you're one of the one in six drivers who is contributing to the 147 million gallons of gasoline lost to the atmosphere every year on account of a faulty gas caps; it knows why your 'check engine' light is on; it knows why you're about to fail an emissions test....[More]

Hack Your Car

Somewhere in the dashboard of your car is a 16-pin connector that will allow you direct access to the computerized brain of your vehicle. This brain knows a lot—it knows, for instance, whether you're one of the one in six drivers who is contributing to the 147 million gallons of gasoline lost to the atmosphere every year on account of a faulty gas caps; it knows why your 'check engine' light is on; it knows why you're about to fail an emissions test. And for the first time ever, you can query it for yourself, instead of paying some mechanic a hundred clams to do it for you.

$90  [Less] [Link to this slide]

Best Biped

He roller-skates, skateboards, carries small loads, and is self-righting . Isn't this what roboticists have been after, well, forever?...[More]

Best Biped

He roller-skates, skateboards, carries small loads, and is self-righting. Isn't this what roboticists have been after, well, forever? So why is the world's most advanced bipedal thingamajig a mere toy? Regardless, it's time the world's pets started worrying about the scabs in their midst.

$2000  [Less] [Link to this slide]

Hydrogen Fuel Cell

The sun is powered by hydrogen, and the sun is impervious to attack, so shouldn't you do the same? Survivalists and end-timers alike will appreciate that Jadoo Systems has recognized that in the event of the Rapture or a jihad on Pensacola, regular batteries and back up generators just won't do....[More]

Hydrogen Fuel Cell

The sun is powered by hydrogen, and the sun is impervious to attack, so shouldn't you do the same? Survivalists and end-timers alike will appreciate that Jadoo Systems has recognized that in the event of the Rapture or a jihad on Pensacola, regular batteries and back up generators just won't do. Their black, slightly militarized hydrogen-fuel canisters not only look post-apocalyptic—they'll actually help you survive an apocalypse.

$1000  [Less] [Link to this slide]

Giant Telescope with Robotic Mount

This 20-inch telescope from Meade takes images that look like they were shot with the Hubble . (And at this price you could very nearly get it into orbit in one of Richard Branson's rocket planes .)

$60,000...[More]

Giant Telescope with Robotic Mount

This 20-inch telescope from Meade takes images that look like they were shot with the Hubble. (And at this price you could very nearly get it into orbit in one of Richard Branson's rocket planes.)

$60,000  [Less] [Link to this slide]

3-D Monitor

The sole product of a U.S. spin-off of a Russian Skunk Works founded in the hopes of wresting some sweet capitalist moolah from the ashes of the Soviet military-industrial complex (no, really), the 22"-inch iZ3D is an impressive chunk of hardware....[More]

3-D Monitor

The sole product of a U.S. spin-off of a Russian Skunk Works founded in the hopes of wresting some sweet capitalist moolah from the ashes of the Soviet military-industrial complex (no, really), the 22"-inch iZ3D is an impressive chunk of hardware. Slip on the polarized glasses and whammo—in-game explosions are spilling out of your monitor and across your keyboard, threatening to knock over the pile of empty Coke cans that has spent months attracting fruit flies to your den of gaming.

$1000  [Less] [Link to this slide]

Physics Coprocessor

PhysX is the latest in a long line of specialized chips you can add to your computer so that your video games will be an ever more convincing replacement for real life....[More]

Physics Coprocessor

PhysX is the latest in a long line of specialized chips you can add to your computer so that your video games will be an ever more convincing replacement for real life. (The ultimate goal is a simulation so realistic that you can cease going outside or talking to the opposite sex.) This one does nothing but model in-game physics so that when you shoot a guy, his giblets go flying in as realistic a fashion as possible. What, you were expecting a cure for cancer?

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R2D2 DVD Projector

Possibly the least-justifiable purchase ever conceived , this $2000 heap of conspicuous consumption is based on a throwaway sight gag in the original Star Wars, in which the little 'droid projects a holographic image of Princess Leia's desperate plea for help....[More]

R2D2 DVD Projector

Possibly the least-justifiable purchase ever conceived , this $2000 heap of conspicuous consumption is based on a throwaway sight gag in the original Star Wars, in which the little 'droid projects a holographic image of Princess Leia's desperate plea for help. Only your version of it won't be projecting a youthful Carrie Fisher's attempt to rally a Jedi to fight the good fight—rather, it will be projecting your 26th viewing of the Lord of the Rings Special Edition DVD Extras onto your bedroom wall (as your life slowly ebbs away).

$2000  [Less] [Link to this slide]