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140-Character Study: What if Everyone Had Always Been on Twitter at the Same Time?

Here is what might happen if the science greats "tweeted."

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Have you joined the Twitterverse? All over the world millions of people are posting their 140-or-­fewer-character tweets online via Twitter. As a confirmed Twitterer, I wondered what it might have been like if Twitter, and all its users, had been around for, oh, the past few thousand years.

PythyinGreece Had amazing insight into right triangles. Add squares of sides = square of hypo. Could be useful.

Euclidmenot Working on something (book series called Elements) to drive 10th graders nuts 4 thousands of years. Conic section alone will make them cry.


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Aristophanesridiculous @Euclidmenot Conic section? I thought you said COMIC section. HaHA, I still got it! Hey, frogs are funny, yes?

Arkymeets Note to self: take more baths. Do some of my best thinking in the tub.

Galiheyo You know what moves when they show you the torture instruments? Your colon. I’m gonna be ixnay on the eetstway for an ilewhay.

Libnits Made way to figure out area under a curve by dividing into smaller and smaller sections until width of each disappears, call it calculus.

AppleNewt @Libnits You made that up? You couldn’t make up a bedtime story for a 2-yr-old. Making a kid, BTW, sounds disgusting.

Libnits @AppleNewt Keep sitting under trees, maybe something big will fall on you next time. 

AppleNewt @Libnits Apple falls near you, best idea you have is “Ooh, let’s make applesauce.”

HairyAlbert @AppleNewt Pick on somebody your own size. Btw, your gravity’s wrong. Just a teeny bit most of the time, but hey. @Euclidmenot You too.

Euclidmenot @HairyAlbert Prove it.

OzAScarecrow @PythyinGreece The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is = to the square root of the remaining side!

Mendelayoff @Euclidmenot Calling my thing Periodic Table of the Elements. Different elements from yours. OK?

Euclidmenot @Mendelayoff We’re like two lines that go next to each other for infinity but don’t ever touch.

PythyinGreece @OzAScarecrow So very wrong, but congrats on the degree. At least you’re failing upward.

AppleNewt @PythyinGreece You can’t fall upward.

HairyAlbert @Euclidmenot Two lines that never touch? Those lines are gonna touch, trust me.
ChuckinDown Worms and barnacles again today. I don’t feel so good.

PythyinGreece @AppleNewt I said he was FAILing upward, not falling upward. You’re doing too much alchemy, get fresh air.

HairyAlbert @Mendelayoff I’ll take number 99 on your table.

AlfieWallace @ChuckinDown Are you eating the worms and barnacles? Hey, did you get the package I sent?

ChuckinDown @AlfieWallace Yes, got package. Adding to my tummy troubles. We need to talk.

Curieous Went through thousands of pounds of pitchblende to get a speck of radium. I hate pitchblende.

InAHuff It snowed in DC, which proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is no global warming. I rest my case.

Beefranklin @InAHuff I risked my life in electrical storms for guys like you?

Bigstick99 @HairyAlbert Hey, I’m also number 99. There’s a lot of interesting physics in ice hockey.

InAHuff @Bigstick99 But the hockey stick is broken!

Beefranklin @InAHuff Seriously, you’re embarrassing us.

HairyAlbert @Bigstick99 I prefer elevator races.

SJGould I’m supposed to say something in 140 characters? That’s ludicrous. It’s absurd. It’s beyond ridiculous. In fact, it’s impossible. What idio

RogerToryPete Tweet!

Steve Mirsky was the winner of a Twist contest in 1962, for which he received three crayons and three pieces of construction paper. It remains his most prestigious award.

More by Steve Mirsky
Scientific American Magazine Vol 302 Issue 5This article was published with the title “140-Character Study: What if Everyone Had Always Been on Twitter at the Same Time?” in Scientific American Magazine Vol. 302 No. 5 ()
doi:10.1038/scientificamerican052010-6LiY3yEaJY62FyZtBQn9JC

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