Stories by Kyle Hill

FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE—After more than a month of attempts to contact the reclusive hero, reports are coming in today from the icy home of global do-gooder Superman that he intentionally let the meteor that impacted Chelyabinsk, Russia on February 15th enter the atmosphere and explode.

As a former rock climbing instructor, I have seen many contorted struggles to raise a chin over a bar. The pull-up for many is a sort of "test piece" of fitness—an indicator of athletic prowess—that is a cornerstone of a good workout (or a good showing-off).

One of the most critically acclaimed videogames of all time had a core mechanic that bends everyday physics. Borrowed and adapted to countless tales of science fiction, the time travel in The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time was fairly novel for a videogame.

Thor—Norse god, Marvel superhero, and Hollywood eye candy—presents those of us living in the real world with a few problems. Thor is a "demigod," and any attempt to scientifically explore his otherworldly abilities can be dismissed as such.

We have to assume it was a squirrel, but we know how it died. It died squirming and convulsing in the talons of an owl, locked in by the bone ratchets the owl shares with other raptors.

I was late to Firefly. Nearly ten years after the show first aired and then was subsequently cancelled, I holed up in my room, coffee and external hard drive in hand, aiming to blaze through one of the most beloved sci-fi series.

"You slapped a fiiiish. Why would you do that?" "I wanted some seafood." At nearly 16,000,000 views at the time of this writing, this "bad lip-synching" of Edward and Bella is objectively hilarious.

You careen headlong into a blinding light. Around you, phantasms of people and pets lost. Clouds billow and sway, giving way to a gilded and golden entrance.

True memories fade and false ones appear. Each time we recall something, the memory is imperfectly re-stitched by our brains. Our memories retain familiarity but, like our childhood blankets, can be recognizable yet filled with holes and worn down with time.

Trails of acrid grey mist hang in the air. I use the front of my shirt as an impromptu gas mask as I cough out my drink order to the bartender.

The Earth is flat. A full moon leads to more crime. Humans were created less than 10,000 years ago. If you made your way through even the most general of science educations, the above statements should strike you as suspect.

Headlines like "Is Google Making Us Stupid?" or "Is the Internet Making Us Dumber?" quite clearly show that people are concerned about what the Internet is doing to our cognition.