Listener Anna from Toronto wrote in and asked how she could determine whether the person she’s dating is the right match for her.

For millennia, we’ve partnered within our tribe, our village, or our neighborhood. If we were lucky, the number of eligible partners we had to choose from reached maybe a dozen. Fast forward to today, however, and we can connect with untold numbers of people with the right-swipe of a finger.

But choice can be a double-edged sword. It breeds the illusion that we can find our soulmate if we sort patiently and diligently enough. In turn, this leads to second-guessing, high-pressure first dates, and rampant perfectionism in pursuit of The One.

So what does a diligent mate search look like in the 21st century? And how do we know when we’ve found The One? Do birds suddenly appear every time they are near? Do stars fall from the sky every time they walk by?

The bad news: there’s no foolproof formula.

The good news: there are some rules of thumb to follow (though you can still find true love even if you break them all).

This week, here are 6 ways to find your match:

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