Microsoft pens playful doctor's note for Xbox One gamers

Join Our Community of Science Lovers!

(Credit:
Screenshot by Lance Whitney/CNET)

Planning to take Friday off to play with your new Xbox One? Microsoft has posted a doctor's note that might just convince a game-loving employer to give you a break.

As the next-generation Xbox One preps to sail into stores on Friday, hot on the heels of Sony's new PlayStation 4, Microsoft is likely expecting and certainly hoping that throngs of customers will line up to buy the new console. Eager Xbox gamers may even skip out on work for the chance to pick up, hook up, and play with the Xbox One. And it's those people for whom Microsoft's ersatz doctor's note is intended.

On supporting science journalism

If you're enjoying this article, consider supporting our award-winning journalism by subscribing. By purchasing a subscription you are helping to ensure the future of impactful stories about the discoveries and ideas shaping our world today.

Signed by Microsoft's famous Major Nelson, the note reads in full:

To whom it may concern,

Due to the Zombie Flu your employee will not be able to fulfill the scheduled commitment he/she has with you. Because of the severity of this condition I'm prescribing a heavy dose of Xbox One. He needs to destroy zombies.

After a thorough examination, I've concluded that the all-in-one entertainment system is the only cure for the aforementioned condition.

This treatment may take anywhere from 1-3 days to work and will require years of accumulating achievements thereafter. If the patient is disrupted with work, I will have to double the prescribed amount of Xbox One.

If used effectively, Xbox One can help relieve the patient's entertainment deprivation and will have an increased state of happiness at all times.

You can save the note as a PDF or e-mail it directly to your employer.

The ploy might just work on an employer who's fanatical about games and has a huge sense of humor. How many of you out there would be able to pull off a trick like this?

The successor to the Xbox 360, which debuted eight years ago, the $499 Xbox One has a vaulting ambition to be not just a gaming console, but also the hub for all your living room entertainment.

Read more: Xbox One: 15 things you need to know

Xbox One in pictures

1-2 of 20

Scroll Left Scroll Right

It’s Time to Stand Up for Science

If you enjoyed this article, I’d like to ask for your support. Scientific American has served as an advocate for science and industry for 180 years, and right now may be the most critical moment in that two-century history.

I’ve been a Scientific American subscriber since I was 12 years old, and it helped shape the way I look at the world. SciAm always educates and delights me, and inspires a sense of awe for our vast, beautiful universe. I hope it does that for you, too.

If you subscribe to Scientific American, you help ensure that our coverage is centered on meaningful research and discovery; that we have the resources to report on the decisions that threaten labs across the U.S.; and that we support both budding and working scientists at a time when the value of science itself too often goes unrecognized.

In return, you get essential news, captivating podcasts, brilliant infographics, can't-miss newsletters, must-watch videos, challenging games, and the science world's best writing and reporting. You can even gift someone a subscription.

There has never been a more important time for us to stand up and show why science matters. I hope you’ll support us in that mission.

Thank you,

David M. Ewalt, Editor in Chief, Scientific American