This article was published in Scientific American’s former blog network and reflects the views of the author, not necessarily those of Scientific American
This month at The Psychology Podcast we discussed how to use your alter ego to harness your best self with Todd Herman, and the flexibility of human sexual strategies with Wednesday Martin.
The Alter Ego Effect with Todd Herman
“At the end of your life, you won’t remember the thoughts or intentions you had. You’ll remember the actions you took. You’ll judge yourself by how you showed up, by what you did, what you said, how you acted, and whether you performed the way you knew you could in any of the stages of life.”
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Todd Herman is a performance advisor to Olympians, pros, and business leaders, and he creates proven systems to help teams & achievers win with less stress. Herman’s latest book is “The Alter Ego Effect: The Power of Secret Identities to Transform Your Life.”
How alter egos are part of the human psyche
The difference between childish and childlike
Why having an alter ego is about being the best version of yourself
Multiple self theory and the importance of context
The Core Self vs. The Trapped Self vs. The Heroic Self
How to go from an ordinary world to an extraordinary world
How to activate the person you truly want to become
How to get into the “wow” mindset
Todd’s traumatic backstory and how it has led to his superpower
The hidden forces of the enemy
How the creative imagination is like the backdoor to performance
The Flexibility of Female Sexuality with Wednesday Martin
“There can be no autonomy without the autonomy to choose, without coercion or constraint, or in spite of it, who our lovers will be.” — Wednesday Martin
Wednesday Martin has worked as a writer and social researcher in New York City for more than two decades. The author of Stepmonster and the instant New York Times bestseller Primates of Park Avenue, she writes for the online edition of Psychology Today and her work has appeared in The New York Times and Time.com. Dr. Martin’s latest book is called “Untrue: Why Nearly Everything We Believe About Women, Lust, and Infidelity Is Wrong and How the New Science Can Set Us Free.”
In this episode we discuss:
How Wednesday tries to make the sex research “delicious and fun”
How female infidelity is mired in so much misunderstanding
How Millenial women are more sexually adventurous compared to Millennial men
What’s the consensual non-monogamy movement?
How we evolved to be “cooperative breeders”
What is “female flexuality”?
Why we need to stop pathologizing those who embrace non-monogamy
How women are driving the polyamory movement
The good reasons why monogamy is hard and the other options that exist
How your attachment style and sociosexuality are linked to consensual non-monogamy
Disagreeable women and sociosexuality
Rethinking sex differences in the drive for sexual novelty
Pornography viewing differences between men and women
Common triggers of violence in relationships
Rethinking the motivations underlying sex differences in cheating
How better science can help us all have hotter sex
